these days.

Havent been blogging these days. life was pretty busy mainly work. the absence of my dad, left an emptiness in my heart somewhere. somehow.

But someone came in and filled that part of my heart. i cant exactly describe the feelings of love, touched, happiness, gratitude. it's just like adding a cube of sugar into your espresso coffee.
i;ve been trying to be happy. doing things before i guess it's too late. i've been slowing down my pace, breathing good air; cycling on the beach; slipping coffees at any coffee joints that passed by; movies on late night instead of clubs; walking through the chinatown night market on a weekday. although it wasnt something "hoohaa" for most of you guys, i found it the finest moment that i can have. a peace of mind.

On the other hand, sleepless night still haunts me every now and then. especially when it was one of those nights when mom misses dad. she would sob quitely in the living room, penning down her thoughts in her dairy. thou' tired, i still wanna be by her side quitely. i will only turn in when i heard her soft footsteps strolling into her bedroom. these are the nights where i'm afraid to sleep with her. cos eventually both of us ended up sobbing to sleep.

Images flashed. those days when i just sat behind the car, mum and dad fetch me back from work. those days when dad forced me to take over the driver's seat while he fasten his seat belt nervously. those days when he used to rub my head when he was to going to sleep. those days when we both sat down on the sofa to enjoy a glass of red wine.

It has been 2 months since dad left us. i still, sometimes pick up my phone and call his number when i got lost in the car. it's that moment that strike a tear or two.